I Started Couples Therapy (The Real Thing, Not The Show) And Now I’m Addicted To Love Island (The Show—Is There a Real Thing?)
Part 1
The desire to take part in couples therapy is not a new one. But back when my husband and I were parenting full-time, it never reached the top of the priority list. Frankly, in a blended family of five there was too much individual therapy going on to find the time or funds for couples. At one point, I remember thinking our monthly individual therapy bills were coming close to our mortgage, and that’s PIMI. So even prioritizing mental health, couples therapy didn’t have a chance. Until now.
So here we are, my husband Mark and I, digging into our dynamics with professional help for the first time in our 14 years together. Wednesdays at 3:00 we drive south on Los Angeles’ 405 (insert SNL, The Californians reference, Devon) in mild traffic, have meaningful and reflective conversations with our therapist for 50-52 minutes, and then head back north on the 405 at 4:00 in serious traffic. We were supposed to come up with an after-therapy routine to help us with the transition out of therapy-mode, but 4:00 is too early for dinner and we have dogs that need to eat right at 5:00 or they think they’ll die of starvation and abandonment, so sitting in traffic has become the routine. Unfortunately, in my 40’s I became inexplicably prone to motion sickness. Last week my purse was on the floor of the car in front of me when I was overcome with nausea. I flung it into the backseat like it was about to explode—in truth, I was the one about to explode. My sudden need to vomit was just that severe and surprising. Mark and I are optimistic that the traffic and nausea aren’t symbolic of our overall therapy experience, and that we’ll be more successful with the other elements of our therapy than we have been establishing this routine.
I’m wondering if the intersection of my love fest for reality dating shows and the commencement of couples therapy is mere coincidence.
Around the same time we began couples therapy, I upped my dosage of reality television dating shows. I used to watch the occasional Bachelor or Bachelorette episode, no need to see the whole season to follow the plot. But then my mom told me about Married at First Sight and when I stayed with her for a week, we watched the first couple episodes of the latest season together. After that, I saw an ad for The Farmer Wants a Wife and I was so upset that the producers missed an opportunity to call the show The Farmer Wants a Hoe, that I felt compelled to find out what a farmer really wants. Plus, I like Jennifer Nettles, and she’s the host. Then, I got really sick and had too much time on my hands. I started watching the latest season of Love Island UK, which Mark thinks was another missed opportunity and the show should have been called Isle of You—K. I like that the contestants talk about each other’s accents, but I’m so daft it sounds like they all have the same British accent to me, and that includes Jesse, the woman on the show they imported from Australia. The problem with Love Island is that there are over 50 episodes and the season is finished. Unlike the other shows releasing just one a week, I can binge Love Island like a true addict, and I am.
Now, I’m wondering if the intersection of my love fest for reality dating shows and the commencement of couples therapy is mere coincidence. Between all the shows, I’m tracking a lot of relationships. Perhaps there’s yet another one to examine, a potential causal relationship between my actual reality and my addiction to these reality tv shows. Stay tuned…
Not much for reality shows, but I would have definitely watched The Farmer Wants a Hoe!
Never give up the dream ;)